Reading Into Apple’s iPhone Invitation

Posted by Moe with 2 Comments

Unless you have been living under a rock, you are aware that Apple has sent out their invitations for the unveiling of their next iPhone. Most people looked at the invite and said, “cool” and went on with their lives. I didn’t! I went home and put on my discernment hat on and decided to look deep into the invitation and I think I know exactly what we will see next week.

1. iPhone 5. This is what most people are saying. However, I don’t think this is in fact the real deal. You see, this is not the iPhone 5. There have already been 5 iPhones (iPhone, iPhone 3G, iPhone 3GS, iPhone 4, iPhone 4S) and this would make it the 6th iPhone. So this doesn’t make sense to me. However, this is Apple and they don’t often make sense.

2. iPhone with 5 inch screen. Word around the interwebs is that people like phones with big screens. There is no way that iPhone will ever design a 5 inch iPhone. That’s living in borderline tablet screen.

3. 5 iPhones. Apple wants to kill off competitors and will release the new iPhone in 5 different colors (black, white, red, pink and green)

4. Johnny 5. Apple will unveil the next iPhone and will kill off Siri and introduce “Johnny 5″. Apple’s new intelligent assistant modeled after Short Circuit’s robot named Johnny 5.

5. 5 Things. Apple will unveil 5 things and will take the tech world by storm. It all starts off with the new iPhone followed by new Apple TV, iPods, iPad Mini and new iWatch.

We never really know what the 5 stands for, but most people agree that it will be the next iPhone called the iPhone 5. Whatever Apple reveals next week, you can be sure that we won’t care if the math makes sense. We will just wait with itchy trigger fingers waiting to hit “buy” at the Apple store. After all, the new iPhone will be just an iPhone. Nowhere in the body of the device does it have any other name but that which we come to love.

What do you think will be unveiled next week? Any other predictions of what the “5″ stands for?


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Moe (Beta Christian) is a New Yorker who enjoys a fine cup of coffee, his Bible and his sexy black iPhone 4 and "new" iPad. He can be reached via the Twitter link below.

2 responses to Reading Into Apple’s iPhone Invitation

  1. I think the iPhone 5 is the most likely, but I still like the interpretations. I know Apple is all about black, white and brushed aluminum, but some more color options like the iPod nano lineup might be cool.

  2. I don’t think we’ll ever see colorful iPhones anytime soon. That’s just not Apple’s style. At least not yet. You’ll never see colorful Macbooks, iPads, Macs either. It’s all about aluminum today. That may change in the future though.

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