Moe’s Rant: Sparrow and the Great White Whore

Posted by Matthew Snider with 4 Comments
sparrow-google
Moe’s Rant is a feature where Moe tackles popular issues relating to iOS devices, apps and its competitors. The thoughts expressed in this feature are his own and do not represent the thoughts of the geekfori writers and supporters.

Unless you have been living under a rock, you are aware that Sparrow was purchased by Google. Most people read the news and shook their heads and went on with their lives. I didn’t! I went home after the news and wept bitterly. Why did Google have to steal the best email client on both iOS and the Mac? After a pint of ice cream and two boxes of tissues I decided to read into the press release carefully. At first look it looks like a carefully prepared press release. However, I used my gift of discernment to translate the release into its real message:Press Release

We’re excited to announce that Sparrow has been acquired by Google!

Translation: Google was threatened by us and since they are incapable of making a decent iOS app or Mac client they pooped their pants and decided to throw millions in our laps.

We care a lot about how people communicate, and we did our best to provide you with the most intuitive and pleasurable mailing experience.

Translation: Email has become our DNA and we lived and breathed it, but Google was sending us threatening letters with pictures of our families so we had to give in.

Now we’re joining the Gmail team to accomplish a bigger vision — one that we think we can better achieve with Google.

Translation: You know when the Bible mentions the mark of the beast? Yeah, Google is the beast and the great white whore of revelation and she completely devoured us and we are now required to make their crappy online design and experience much better.

We’d like to extend a special thanks to all of our users who have supported us, advised us, given us priceless feedback and allowed us to build a better mail application. 

Translation: Thanks guinea pigs. We are now going to beta test with a higher species (aka Gmail users)

While we’ll be working on new things at Google, we will continue to make Sparrow available and provide support for our users.

Translation: Google has free lunch and lots of money. We will let Sparrow die a slow death.

We had an amazing ride and can’t thank you enough. Full speed ahead!

Translation: We were tired and broke. So screw you! We sold our soul to the devil!

 

So there it is friends, the real deal of the whole Sparrow situation. So what have we learned?

Google is the great white whore, Sparrow was kidnapped and I either drank too much coffee or I’m taking this way too seriously.

Matthew Snider

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Matthew is the Editor-In-Chief, and founder of Geek for i. He has produced such posts as Top 5 iPhone Apps For The BathroomMac or PC and many more. His love for iDevices started back when he purchased the original iPhone.

4 responses to Moe’s Rant: Sparrow and the Great White Whore

  1. I don’t know anything about Sparrow…but I know that the harlot of Revelation is not the same thing as the beast, though they are related. The beast is the antichrist and the harlot is the false religious system that he gets the people to prostitute themselves with spiritually. Also, not white. Sooooo…I’m just gonna awkwardly back out of this conversation. Hey look over there!

    • LOL. Well, Google is both the beast and… the false secure system that sells its users (prostitution) to ad agencies. Hey… there is something over there! :)

  2. As a Sparrow user and a non-gmail user, I was pretty dissappointed with the announcement. But honestly, the business model of buy in once, get free upgrades for life is unsustainable in the long term. There are really only so many users you’ll reach. You may get some cross level income if you release a separate iPhone and iPad apps, but again, 5-10 years down the road, and without a solid ad network, you’ll need to release a totally different product or hope to get bought out for sustainable income. I don’t blame Sparrow for selling out. Good for them. They deserve it. But it does leave me concerned for the future of this ecosystem.

    • I completely agree with you. Rumor has it that they weren’t making much money. When someone like Google comes throwing millions in your lap, everyone would do the same. 

      I also think that the “free” model that Google and many others have introduced has hurt innovation in the email space. Sparrow was one of the most innovative companies to take a fresh approach to email. They had to compete with “free” (Google) and lost that battle. Most people refuse to pay for an email client when they can get one for free. 

      I fully support developers who innovate. I prefer to pay money than download free apps. I hate ads and I want to see developers “make it”. 

      I also now take a very good look at the business models of developers who introduce apps. If they are free with no ads, I stay away from them. You know that their business model is “get bought by the Googles, FB’s” of the world. 

      This is one of the reasons I stick with Instapaper. Take my money, I don’t care, but succeed. Pocket, Readability have their foundation on hoping someone buys them. Sorry, but they won’t get my support or space in my iPhone on that model. 

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